The late-night show host Stephen Colbert found humor in a bizarre tidbit involving Donald Trump’s candidate for health secretary and his unconventional pet hawk feeding habits. This involved a curious mix of baby chicks and mice. Breaking from his characteristic wit, Colbert often likens the internal disagreements within the prominent Kennedy family to a game of croquet in the peaceful surroundings of Nantucket, followed by oyster indulgence, gin, and corpus of discreet non-disclosure agreements.
Trump’s choice for the position of health secretary, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., was in the hot seat during a Senate Finance Committee hearing. The topics of scrutiny ranged from his opinion on vaccines to his views on abortion, and even the sale of infant wear by his founding anti-vaxxer non-profit organization set up in 2016.
Colbert’s position on RFK Jr’s potential appointment to the position of the health secretary was shrouded in wry humor, ‘Should you find RFK Jr’s prospective appointment as health secretary worrisome, there’s a high probability that you’re part of his kin.’ This quip was a comment on Caroline Kennedy’s public call to the Senate, bluntly asking them to reject her relative’s candidature because, to her mind, he was unfit for the role and labeled ‘predatory.’
One of the allegations Caroline had to back her assertion was the fact that Kennedy Jr. once enjoyed mixing baby chicks and mice in a blender to feed his pet hawks. According to her, this action not only revealed a violent and revolting side of his character but also rendered him unsuitable for any role within H.H.S. or even at Jamba Juice.
She further questioned his necessity to blend hawk feed when it is common knowledge that these birds of prey consume their quarry in its entirety. Hawks are not known to need or use a Nutribullet while hunting in the wide skies. ‘He blended chicks and mice for his hawks.’ This was an assertion that caught her attention. Unfortunately, during the Senate hearing, not one out of the twenty-seven present senators questioned him about this incident. Not a single one!
There was a noticeable sense of derangement in the selection of the Cabinet members that a potentially cruel side of one of their members, akin to creating Stuart Little smoothies, was overlooked and never addressed. ‘This nominee blended chicks and mice for his hawk pets? Other women thought they had problems when the occasional strummer debuted his guitar in his dorm room.’
Colbert wryly shared, ‘I have reservations about her influence simply because feeding a hawk usually entails blending. A glance at their nests shows that they appear to have a tiny NutriBullet tucked away.’ This outlines the absurdity of the situation and the misinformation surrounding the habits of predators like hawks.
The enigmatic comment of ‘If there is a deceased animal lingering anywhere in the United States, RFK Jr. likely has some involvement.’ was made in jest. It provided a light-hearted explanation of RFK’s peculiar hawk feeding habits.
The blithe humor continued with Colbert weaving in an explanation for RFK’s ‘loss of employment at Jamba Juice’ with a nod to his unusual blender utilization. He presented another bewildering day in Washington, where a man skeptical of medical science is on the verge of overseeing it.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the nominee for the role of Health and Human Services Secretary, was present before the Senate Finance Committee. This was immediately followed by the satirical punchline, ‘In related news, the Senate Finance Committee now apparently has rubella.’
Colbert ended his comment on a high note, ‘So, RFK Jr. underwent the tests, and surprisingly, he tested positive for absolutely everything.’ The humorous take on the series of events at the Senate hearing provided a light-hearted perspective to a serious situation.