in Politics, Trump

Trump Roasts Kamala, Schumer, Walz, de Blasio, and Others At 79th Al Smith Dinner

Donald J. Trump

The former President, Donald Trump, presented a comedic grilling of Vice President Kamala Harris and others from her party at a charity event on a recent Thursday evening. This event, the 79th Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner in New York City, was missing Harris’s attendance – making it the first time a presidential nominee was absent from the dinner in many years. Alongside remarks he made on various high-profile attendees, Trump sent a supportive message to NYC’s freshly appointed Mayor Eric Adams, currently facing federal criminal indictment.

Trump addressed Adams with the words, ‘Mayor Adams, best wishes with everything ahead. It seems they’ve targeted you.’ He added, ‘Roughly ten months ago, I predicted it when he mentioned something about the administration. I believed he’d soon get indicted.’ Trump even managed a humorous self-reference about his own legal encounters in New York City, remarking with a level of sarcasm, ‘The joy of being anywhere in New York these days without getting a subpoena for my appearance is just unparalleled.’

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The former President highlighted the tradition that both parties always grace the event. He quipped that shunning the dinner could bring about ‘unpleasant consequences from up above’, gesturing towards Heaven. He suggested the Vice President’s decision to not attend the event was a profound disrespect, particularly for the Catholic community, bringing the house down to a roar of applause.

Tracing the protocols of the event, he mentioned, ‘The last Democrat who decided to give this key event a miss was Walter Mondale, which ended up being disastrous for him.’ Trump pointed out Mondale’s political downfall, highlighting his defeat in 49 states, quipping, ‘He managed to win just one: Minnesota.’ The real reason Harris missed the event, according to Trump, was that she was busy hunting with Minnesota Governor Tim Walz.

Governor Walz has recently been the butt of many jokes due to his claim of being a hunter – an assertion made dubious thanks to his apparent lack of knowledge about operating a shotgun. In his unmistakable style, Trump suggested a foolproof way to ensure Harris’s participation in the future, ‘If you want to see Harris here, just tell her the funds raised are going to bail out the unruly rioters in Minneapolis. She would have been here, no second thoughts. That’s her kind of event.’

Without holding back any punches, Trump also nudged at a scandalous video previously released by Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer. He comically suggested ‘An equally believable story could be that Harris was in Michigan, accepting Holy Communion from Whitmer. That’s not a pretty sight.’ The ex-president continued his roast of the Democrat party, joking about their mainstay, Joe Biden.

He placated the Catholic crowd saying, ‘Please don’t take Kamala’s absence personally. Had the Democrats really wanted to send someone unpleasant, they could have sent Joe Biden.’ Trump suggested rumors of Biden having thoughts of a return to presidency. He added, ‘If Harris continues to slide in the polls, they might just bring him back. The only place you can see less of Biden is if he got a slot on CNN.’

Continuing his critique, he spoke, ‘In the White House today, we have someone who struggles to string two coherent sentences. Someone who appears to have the cognitive abilities of a child. It’s quite a sad predicament.’ He then quickly added, ‘But let’s stop talking about Kamala Harris and move on to something more interesting.’ Trump’s next target was a faction of young men whom he humorously termed ‘woke white men’ who are planning to vote for Harris in the forthcoming polls.

He mocked, ‘There’s a group known as ‘White Dudes For Harris.’ But there’s no need to worry. Their spouses and their spouses’ lovers are all rooting for me. Every single one of them.’ Trump then alluded to Harris’s childcare plans and followed up with a humorous jab at Harris’s spouse, Doug Emhoff. Emhoff previously had a scandal in his first marriage involving his child’s babysitter.

Trump couldn’t resist making the off-color remark, ‘The only advice I’d give her, should she eventually win, is to keep her husband Doug away from the nannies.’ The ex-president’s humor was not limited to his political opponents. He also made a surprising shift towards some self-deprecating jokes, leaving the audience in splits.

In an unexpected moment, Trump stated, ‘This evening calls for a few self-deprecating jokes.’ As the crowd waited eagerly, he confessed, ‘I’m afraid I’ve got nothing. Why should I take shots at myself when people have been doing it for decades?’ The former president then switched targets, aiming his humor at Governor Walz who was also absent from the event.

Trump characterized the Governor as a notorious fabricator saying, ‘Although Walz didn’t attend this event, he’ll probably claim that he did.’ Continuing his playful criticism, Trump expressed a mock surprise, saying, ‘I used to think Democrats were out of touch for suggesting that men have periods, then I met Tim Walz.’

Next on Trump’s list was Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. He observed Schumer, like an unwelcome guest, ‘looking glum.’ but couldn’t resist making a comical reassurance: ‘Cheer up, Chuck! Your party has become so progressive these days. So, if Kamala doesn’t make it to the presidency, there’s always an opportunity for you to be the first female president.

He then turned his attention to former New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio. Trump brought up the Democrat’s less than stellar reputation by labeling him, ‘we have another ex NYC Mayor with us, easily the worst one in our history. But I can assure you, it’s not Michael [Bloomberg].’ His surprise that de Blasio could make it was clear.

Trump continued, ‘I’m honestly astounded that Bill de Blasio managed to show up tonight.’ He didn’t mince words about de Blasio’s tenancy, ‘He was an awful mayor; doesn’t matter if it’s comedy or not. He did a terrible job. It’s not a joke, it’s the truth.’ Despite his serious critique, he managed a final barb, ‘At least Bill doesn’t have to worry about the city’s criminals. They owe him a lot, after all the leniency.’