It seems like commitments in Hawaii were more pressing for former first lady Michelle Obama than attending President Carter’s funeral. While these commitments were in play, online commentary by a certain demographic suggested a deeper motive. This conjecturing ramped up when Obama also decided to give President Trump’s second inauguration a miss, with no reason given. Then Vice President Kamala Harris, instead of honoring the tradition of walking her successor J.D. Vance through the official VP residence, decided to dodge the event. This triggered a backlash prompting a widespread movement to boycott the Women’s March, relabeled as the People’s March, scheduled for January 18, and opt for brunch instead.
This dismissive wave originated from black women – a cohort that has been excessively hailed as the foundation of democratic values, the foot soldiers of the ballot box, the so-called 92% majority that favorably voted for Harris. But this isn’t a childish decision to withhold participation because of an unwon victory. The frustration stems from being burdened with the monumental task of rescuing democracy, yet faced with unjust queries about their future plans, despite the evident failings. This demographic has mobilized and rallied, they are now understandably exhausted. Where, indeed, is their deserved mimosa?
It’s essential to clarify that this isn’t about completely disconnecting, but more about reorienting attention towards their own communities, and prioritizing self-health over the need to cradle the emotions and intellectual growth of others. As Baltimore’s Darlyn Dyson highlighted, ‘Black women demand equivalence.’ It’s a quest to have their exertion recognized, not just presumed. Consistent with this thinking, Hood-Wilson reminded us that while ‘Black men were the face of the [Civil Rights] movement,’ it was ultimately the ‘women who were the engine’, leading and undertaking pivotal roles.
Hood-Wilson went on to say, ‘Black women were not only advocating for Black women, but we launched into the November 6 ballots armed with a strong history of leadership, standing up against villainy.’ However, when it came time for them to be considered for a significant leadership position in America, they were met with a painfully sobering truth. Suddenly, an accomplished biracial woman was baselessly degraded. Following an election that saw these women tirelessly labor for everyone, they discovered that they were alone in watching their own back.
Many echoed Hood-Wilson’s sentiment when she shared her post-election reflections, ‘Many of us woke up on November 7 with the realization that our primary obligation rested with our own wellbeing.’ Baltimore resident and writer, Belle Burr, noted a post-election resolve to cease modifying her expressions to appease her friends. This newfound straightforwardness was apparent in a group chat when a white friend voiced plans to attend the People’s March. Burr instinctively responded, ‘Girl, I’m not doing that. You have fun though.’
The heart of this novel paradigm is to cease apologizing for self-preservation and self-care. Therapist Nazaahah Amin frames this as a deliberate act. The relentless resolve displayed by Michelle Obama in safeguarding her time and tranquility is a prime example. The trick, however, lies in implementing it, which Paula Chase Hyman of Annapolis argues is dicey.
According to Paula, ‘Resistance comes naturally when your immediate environment is at risk. However, the model where we educate others at our own expense, often without reciprocation, won’t persist. I’m not withdrawing from anything, but I will dedicate myself to activities that bestow joy.’ This hints at a call for other communities to take the initiative in inducing forward movement and research in their respective societies.
At times, the difficulty associated with fostering change becomes glaringly evident. For instance, some well-intentioned social media users who happened to be white women sought to purchase cowrie shell necklaces resembling what Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson wore at the inauguration. Upon knowing this, Black women volunteered an explanation of the necklaces’ distinct significance to African heritage and why it would be improper for white people to adopt them in this context.
Yet there was Paula again, ‘educating people.’ This instance perfectly illustrates how the assumption of responsibility remains inextricably linked to black women. This cycle, seemingly endless, only adds fuel to the fire of their collective frustration.