Internet chatter – it’s words about others we do not know, shared amongst people who don’t know each other. It’s in our routine online activity, and it’s morphing into a villainous behavior. Notably embraced in her recent publication, You Didn’t Hear This From Me: (Mostly) True Notes on Gossip, McKinney takes us on a journey that encompasses a memoir and cultural critique comprising the evolution of gossip in our world. This hushed talk has shifted from intimate secrets shared among pals to a universal cultural movement that influences everything – from the viral TikToks you encounter to the celebrated figures you relish resenting.
Consider the scenario of ‘West Elm Caleb’. In 2022, an influencer revealed how she was suddenly ignored by a man named Caleb, inciting a flurry of responses asking if this was the same Caleb associated with West Elm, working as furniture designer. Allegedly, this Caleb was known for showering affection on women, going on several dates, circulating the same playlist, only to abruptly cut off all contact. The narrative, emblematic of the typical online dating experience in your twenties, inundated the internet, turning ‘West Elm Caleb’ into the object of public derision for a week, which provided McKinney food for thought on the relationship between gossip and social media.
In today’s online culture, it’s paramount to learn how to navigate the narrow winding lanes of the web without becoming its ‘Main Character’. Every so often, the internet seems to pick a new ‘Main Character’, scrutinizing their life and decisions rigorously. The cyber ‘public court’ passes judgement and determines them guilty or seldom innocent, with or without their input. The judgment of the internet is absolute, if you’re branded a malefactor, it doesn’t matter what your defence might be, as in the end, you will meet the same fate.
All of it boils down to gossip. Conversations about unfamiliar people shared with unknown online acquaintances, is indeed gossip. This acts as a mirror, reflecting all the positive and negative aspects of gossip, magnified by the omnipotent view of the internet.
The interconnected nature of our lives, perpetuated by the internet, has made the world an extremely compact place. With only a handful of tools and the ability to use them, you can find almost anyone. Once for instance, tracing an Instagram handle visible in a post, I was able to locate a man sitting three seats ahead on a plane. Despite my significant achievement, this did not eventually lead to marriage. Trust me with your address, and it’s guaranteed that I’ll take no time in entering that into Zillow – intrigued about your home’s cost, its rooms, and when it was sold last.
Living concurrently in a public and private world runs a potential risk of becoming the newest ‘Main Character’ of the internet. It’s not just media companies under intense scrutiny anymore; we all have become an integral part of this wide-scale observation, turning cameras onto each other, oblivious of potential consequences.
Filming people in public may not precisely reproduce the surveillance state as generated by wiretapping or invasive examination from the government, but it fuels the state’s ability to monitor us more swiftly. We have intentionally constructed this omnipresent watch, lauding our own involvement in creating it. This demonstration of power has made us believe that one’s life could be toyed with in exchange for our power amplification.
The application of gossip as a punitive measure is indicative of a deep-rooted capitalistic and consumer-state outlook, transforming the delight of spying into a means of punishment. As the internet minimize our world, and those governing tech platforms harness our love for disputes and gossip to keep us scrolling, we are risking throwing our own under the bus, stifling the delight that comes from satisfying our curiosity.
It’s amusing to be always learning, delving into the world around us, excavating where forbidden, amassing forbidden knowledge. Turning gossip into a controlling factor against strangers might damage its essence. The group following ‘West Elm Caleb’ lacks a moral compass and shows no mercy. There’s no defined goal for the group.
What is the general public expecting from such a person? Or from any other internet’s ‘Main Character’? Should they apologize? Vanish? Or just serve as a common enemy where society can dump its anxieties and displeasures about the present-day dating scene?