Once upon a time, a skinny boy named George was tormented by an unwelcome and repeating nightmare. On a typical day, he would be trekking down the pathway of a crowded bus, just looking for somewhere to sit. Tailing him, a bigger and older schoolmate was always ready to strike. Unexpectedly, he would make his move and yank George’s trousers all the way down to his feet. The enduring sound of laughter was George’s humiliation’s soundtrack as he would quickly pull his trousers back up, only to spot his secret crush looking at him, emotionless.
In a separate incident, the gruelling ordeal orchestrated by the tormentor involved hurling George’s head against a solid wall then forcing him into his bus seat as though he was a wild creature. As if adding salt to the wound, this tormentor was not just bigger and stronger, but also attractive and sporty. The one who was making George’s school life unbearable was admired and cherished by all the female students. Despite all this, the unyielding bully continued to attack George relentlessly, in a cruel circle of enduring misery.
Gripped by the fear of appearing feeble, George chose to keep his pain to himself and never snitched on the bully. He bore the torment in silence. But one fateful day during a ride home, the bully delivered a powerful punch to George’s face, nearly causing him to pass out. The punch left him with a notably swollen, black eye. Seeing the extent of the physical harm, his parents were shocked out of their oblivity and compelled George to recount the recurring incidents.
Suddenly, everything fell into place — George’s gloominess and dwindling academic performance. His father, upon comprehending the gravity of the situation, decided to have a word with the bully’s father. The father drove to the bully’s residence. The two parents met and discussed the serious issue at hand. His father implored the bully’s father to have a serious talk with his son about his behavior. Despite this intervention, there was no improvement.
Despite his smaller size, George had always possessed a fighting spirit. He continued to grit his teeth and fight back, losing every single time. Over time, perhaps due to boredom or George’s resilience, the bully stopped pestering him and shifted his focus towards a different victim. However, George’s absence from the bully’s life was not forever.
Fast-forwarding two decades later, George had been crowned as a UFC champion for several years, inflicting defeats on world-renowned wrestlers and highly skilled kickboxers. Throughout his career, he had successfully defended his title on nine occasions, earning him recognition as potentially the greatest MMA fighter ever by some. His face adorned billboards across Canada, praised for his athletic prowess, delivering high kicks and superman punches reminiscent of Van Damme.
One day, as George sat in his car preparing to get on with some errands, a haggard, tall man knocked on his window. He lowered his window to the question, ‘Do you have any spare change?’ It was his old tormentor. Upon recognizing George, the bully’s face went from shock to dread. George exited his car and engaged in a conversation with the man.
They conversed for a quarter of an hour, catching up and sharing their life stories. The former perpetrator had been dealt a bad hand. He had no job and was forced to embracing life on the streets. There was a time when this man was George’s living nightmare—a time when George wished for nothing more than to deliver a pounding to the bully.
Now, fate had presented the perfect moment of retribution. But the tables hadn’t only turned— they had flipped completely. Yet, instead of forming a fist, George issued a $100 bill and stated, ‘You can do better. You have the potential. Get back on track with your life. You are worth more than this.’
After a year, George went back to visit his parents. On his arrival, his father mentioned that a man had paid a visit, looking for him. It was none other than the former bully— he had come to express his gratitude to George for his financial aid and precious encouragement, which had become his turning point in life. That’s when George’s father revealed a harsh truth he had never shared before.
Speaking of the visit he made to the bully’s house years ago, he recalled seeing the boy’s father downing strong drinks. As he left, he could hear the sounds of the father berating and physically assaulting his son. The cry of the child pleading for the torment to stop stayed with him. It turned out the bully had been a victim all along, communicating through the only language of brutality and violence that he was exposed to, and as is often the case, replicating the behavior he had observed at home.
People tend to overlook that tormentors do not materialize in isolation. It took a while for George to understand that his tormentors, much like his own, hailed from dysfunctional family settings. Unable to process their feelings or overcome their own distress, they projected their frustration onto other people. This was the only way they knew how to cope with their suffering.
Anyone who has followed MMA is aware that George St. Pierre is one of the most well-mannered individuals within the sport. He neither trash-talks nor berates others. His decisions to take up martial arts and embrace respect was driven by the bullies in his life. George reflected, ‘At the time, my wish was to destroy him. He was an awful person. It was only later when I realized that he was not evil, just like most people.’
The journey of George serves as a testament to the supremacy of forgiving over seeking revenge. When we opt to forgive, we select freedom. When we decide to cling to resentments, we internally consume toxic thoughts. We transform into vindictive, spiteful individuals, no different from the tormented bully. We opt to spread our agony rather than mend it. As Confucius wisely advised, ‘Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.’ One for your victim. The other for yourself. Despite how cliché it might sound, the finest form of revenge is to continue being compassionate, achieve success, and revel in your life.